It’s a really good question and it’s a question that we get asked quite often here at Lifetime Fluency.
What You Focus On Will Become Your Reality
What we’ve come to realize is that a lot of Stutterers tend to focus on their stutter when speaking. And, as the saying goes, what you focus on becomes your reality.
In other words, if you focus on how bad of a communicator you are, and how anxious or embarrassed you feel when you stutter – if that’s your core thought; if that’s what you’re constantly thinking about – then surely enough when you start to speak you’re going to stutter.
Generally, your stuttering is going to be more frequent and more intense because that’s what you are thinking about.
On the contrary, if you start to think of yourself as a clear and concise communicator, stutter-free, eventually what you’re going to do is rewire your brain into believing that you are in fact a stutter-free communicator, a stutter-free speaker.
That’s something you’ve got to identify with, that’s who you’ve got to become.
You’ve got to start thinking like that person that you’re yet to become.
Your stuttering gets worse the more you think about it.
Every person I’ve spoken to, every person I’ve researched…
What I’ve found personally is that they know and are aware of certain situations and certain scenarios that traditionally have caused them to stutter more aggressively, more intensely or more frequently.
They know, subconsciously or consciously, what those situations are.
When Does Stuttering Get Worse?
For example, you might speak perfectly to your parents. You might speak perfectly to your pet, your dog, your cat, but when you’re in a group situation with four or five people at work or at school, all of a sudden you begin to stutter really, really, really intensely.
And because you’ve been doing that so often it has been embedded into yourself.
In other words, what happens the next time you’re at school, at work, and you’re about to be in a situation where you have four or five people around you and it’s your turn to speak, you’ve already started to unconsciously think about how bad of an experience this is going to be the moment you open your mouth.
As you’re thinking about how bad of an experience this will be, what you’re doing is causing yourself to stress more, causing yourself to be more anxious and that compounds negatively.
And as it gets to a point where you actually start to open your mouth, you’ll find that your stutter is a lot worse and a lot more intense that it should ever have been in the first place. As a result, you actually feel a lot more embarrassed.
That then becomes your most recent memory of yourself speaking in that specific situation. And that’s embedded into your head even deeper.
So then what happens is the next time you’re going to be in that situation, you’re going to recall that previous event where you embarrassed yourself even more, and you’re going to think about how anxious you were, how stressed you were, how fearful you were and how embarrassed you got.
In turn that’s going to make the next time even worse. It’s a really bad negatively compounding effect that people bring upon themselves.
What Can I Do To Overcome Stuttering?
One thing you can do, rather than thinking about how bad the experience is going to be, is to try to rewire your brain by visualizing yourself speaking fluently.
The first thing you’ve got to do is identify that specific situation. If it is a scenario that you struggle with where you’re in with four or five people, that’s the specific situation you’ve identified as the most challenging.
Start to think about those situations, and start to visualize yourself communicating freely; communicating without a stutter, communicating perfectly.
Try to think about how you feel during this process. When you visualize and when you’re gone through the process of visualizing, think about how you’re going to feel, how confident you’re going to be, how courageous you going to be through the process of talking to this group of four or five people.
Do that in the morning and again in the evening.
Firstly, identify the situation and then think about that situation over and over again, but with a positive outcome.
With an outcome where you are fluently speaking, with an outcome where you’re confidently speaking, courageously speaking, and importantly, you’re feeling fantastic about yourself throughout that conversation.
What that’ll do is rewire your brain and recondition your thought patterns and your thought process.
The next time you are in that situation, odds are you’re going to believe that you’re going to come out of this perfectly fine.
You’re going to come out of this without feeling embarrassed, without feeling anxious, without feeling stressed and surely enough if you repeat that process over and over again enough times you’ll get to a point where you are in fact doing that by default.
If you’re ready to take action and make an immediate change, start off by signing up for our free video training program by clicking here.
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